Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Observer of Beautiful Things

Not so long ago I welcomed home from NYC a sometime pal over a couple beers and a checkup on our mutual growth, identity, fulfillment, purpose, contentment, etc at this stage in the game. Not exactly sure now what the question was he posed... but think it was something to counter the "who are you?" I had harrassed him with earlier. After long consideration of the various tendrils and threads that have spun out over time, the only thing I could identify under the smoking gun of his wry quizzical gaze as a constant or consistent pattern in the weave was the fact that I am "an observer of beautiful things".

So... if that is me in 5 words or less.... I guess maybe I was living closer to the core of myself yesterday. I say this because yesterday I saw something exquisitely beautiful: I watched from above a cloudbank a sun set below a plush barrier of transluscent moody white and bleed upward from the mist in glowing red rivulets. Molten light oozing upward as the sun submerged below a dense billow of vapor. The fiery red orb assuming temporary regal descendancy in the middle kingdom between cloud and Earthly horizon.

It was enough to make one fall in love all over again with Le Petit Prince - if only for his tethering of a winged flock - and to ponder further strategies to allow life to evolve in the ephemera and mercurial shimmer of gas, atmosphere and space. Imagine real life lived and lost atop light-infused clouds. Better than heaven by far...

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Ouija Board vs. Electromagnetic Telegraph

In 1843 the United States Congress appropriated $30,000 for a project led by Samuel F.B. Morse. This wee investment paid for the stringing of wires between Baltimore and Washington D. C and resulted in the magic we now know as the electromagnetic telegraph.

But that's not what's interesting. What is interesting is the addition of ( & debate over) an odd little amendment to the bill. A Congressman from Tennessee proposed that a full 1/2 of that funding be diverted to a man named Theophilus Fisk's experiments in Mesmerism. I had no idea that Mesmerism & Spiritualism were such huge phenomenons in the mid 19th Century until hearing about the seances hosted by Mary Todd Lincoln at the White House (and attended... so the story goes... at least once by the President) on the radio the other day.

Ouija Board vs. Electromagnetic Telegraph.

Hmm... I suppose with 166 years of hindsight and the Parker Brother's patent board in almost every toy store across America the rolling of eyes at the thought of Congressional appropriations to fund experiments in spirit communication is the most socially acceptable thing I can do (given the traits of my society). But with the mysterious novelty of "electomagnetism" in 1843... and the diaspora of slavery... the bloodred ghost dances of the West... the slaughter of over 600,000 husbands, sons, lovers, brothers, fathers that would occur a mere 20 years later... the hopeful assumption that the magic of the telegraph could be turned toward the heavens and beyond the grave is not such an intuitive stretch for the faithful I suppose.

It is a poetic hope. A haunted hope. One I'm sure Pulitzer Prize winner James Merrill sensed during that 20 year seance that produced Changing Light at Sandover.

The scientific contraction of time and space... Manifest Destiny... empire building... the echo of a lonely hello whispered up to the heavenly ether... the missing loved one dreamt of again and again... the sorrowful and angry turn from one plantation/slave/brother/son/parent/lover to another because the first had betrayed and disappointed with its death... the wish to hold the triumphs of the past and future in perpetual reconciliation and suspense high above the fulcrum of the present... the multiplication table that predicts life unlike yours will soon dislocate you and your genetic code from the filimental thread of time that connects mankind to the collective conscious.

If it took $30,000 in 1843 to only scratch the surface of contracting time and space via the the first telegraph communication, I wonder how much $ would have been necessary to gain mastery over all the rest. $15k for Mesmerism doesn't seem like it would be enough. Maybe that's why the bill didn't pass after all. Congress knew it was too small to make a difference. And, maybe they also knew that if it were something they approved outright with all the poetic hope and vaguary dripping from it that it would cause the people in my society to roll their eyes.

In 2008, however, the United States Government allocated $481.4 billion in "base" funding to what they call the Department of Defense.

That does sound better than Mesmerism, doesn't it? Not nearly so poetic... or vague?

Saturday, February 7, 2009

An Invitation To Mass

Athol Fugard's Road To Mecca sings songs about the lonely struggle to maintain and create internal radiance in the face of darkness. I spent time with the play today because of an Arts & Visually Impaired Audiences audio description assignment. However, I'm not sure it was until after the show that I encountered radiance itself.

Her name was Noelle. I walked with her across Seattle Center through a crowd of people milling between the fountain and Key Arena waiting in line for tickets to the roller derby. She was going to a 5:30 Catholic Mass to listen to the songs and church bells. She'd asked me if I would like to attend Mass with her when we were still chatting in the lobby of the theatre together. I had politely declined at the time not recognizing as I should have the unspoken request for a traveling companion. She'd introduced me to her silent doll after that. A constant guardian. Much more consoling and trustworthy than the faerie voices that plucked and prodded one during travels about town--like that grizzled ticket scalper that had called to her as she passed reminding her of their recent walk home together during one of the icy eves of the past few months. Noelle had not recognized him... though she had smiled up at him and chatted back at him with a thundering persistent voice of one excedingly deft at touching the world via the echoing soundwaves that emitted & reflected back to her frail little body. I think he had been disappointed. I wondered if he had felt protective of her. A little like myself at that moment. "She's a real trooper" he had said smiling uncertainly down at her.

I had wondered at the time how comfortable I would feel constantly exposed to a vulnerability that meant being regularly walked home by strange uncertain voices. I had taken it upon myself to help if I could when I saw her outside of the theatre rocking from foot to foot with a consoling internal rhythm all her own. Listening. Waiting. The House Manager at the theatre said that she was a regular at the Center finding her way through an undefatigable patience and trust in the kindness of strangers. "It's a wonderful way to meet new people" she had said with that golden sunlight eminating from her voice. A voice and spirit bright enough to chase darkness away.
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A kindred spirit for you Miss Helen...

Sunday, February 1, 2009

8 Mile Stream of Consciousness


Sun on a winter Saturday. Green tendrils of life straining out of the earth with abrupt impatience for the global axis tilt inflicted stasis. Trying to get a new reading on things. Is it time? Is it time? Is it time? Months of lethargy. Months of not looking up. Months of not looking around. Months of standing still. And then-BANG-a burst of energy that makes you believe in heat and life and the intake of easy breath. A violin player. Hands bare. Bowing complicated rhythms. Standing alone in the middle of a forest path. Momentum. A fog of exhaled notes drifting through the crisp long shandows of a late end of January afternoon. Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants. Rapini. Roasted Garlic. Kombucha. Beets. Spinich. Goat Cheese. Yum. Portuguese songs. Brazilian songs. Drum beats. Clattaclack of sticks together. Racing dogs off leash off owner running with a body meant to run. Been here before. But not in a long time. But not with the miles behind me that are there now. Cute Polish boy with the silent j name. Wondering how it is pronounced. Having one of my own doesn't answer any questions. Dream about the end of the world. All because the lightbulb burnt out... and then it never came. The end. It never came. I'm still going. Until finally I've done all 8. Accoladed by hummingbirds heard but not seen. Small celebration. Then you press on into the next moment. Bare witness to the illegal exchange of altered reality. Will I tell? Maybe. Maybe not.